Have you passed your prime? Here’s your sign.

I had 20/20 vision when I was younger. When I turned about 40, I got an eye exam. I bought reading glasses.

It’s not a big deal, I told myself. I don’t need them much. In fact, it kind of bothers my eyes to wear them too much. I can see most things fine. I can see to drive. I can differentiate between my children.

But every once in a while, I would dig out my glasses. You know, when I was tired. Then a little more often. Then I started making sure a pair was always in my purse, like an extra maxi pad. You know, just in case. After a while, I realized that there’s just certain things that I can’t read.

Most of the time, I try to ride it out. I don’t think of myself as someone who wears glasses. But without them, here’s the list of things I can no longer see:

The knot on my necklace chain. This was one of the first things to go. I felt so talented when I untangled my mother’s necklaces. That goes away like the high notes on the scale. You don’t even notice it’s missing until you’re tested.
Ingredient lists in the grocery stores. I lost that battle years ago. That’s why I started carrying the glasses in my purse in the first place.
The small print.
The default font on Lotus Notes email. Can anybody tell me how to make that bigger?
Clothing tags. Forget about laundry instructions, I’m talking about the size label. 14? 16? Wait, 10?! I carried this all the way to the changing room! Well I’m NOT putting it back on the hanger.
The phone number on your business card. Nope. Need a magnifying glass. Nice formatting, though. The text looks like a sailboat.
The menu. Romantic restaurant? Why don’t you order for me, big guy? It’s so sexy. You know what I like.
That bumper sticker on your car with the full sentence on it. I’m going to tailgate you until I can read that damn thing. Yes, I suppose I am too close if I can read that.

Funny thing is, I can usually read books okay. Especially on my reader — the one with the adjustable font.